What to Share with AI (and What to Keep to Yourself)
Go Deeper Guide • Companion to Issue #16
Last week I told you to take out your name, address and card numbers before pasting a suspicious email into AI. I didn't tell you why. This guide does.
When you type into ChatGPT or any AI tool, your words don't stay on your computer. They go to the company that runs it. Below you'll see what happens to them there, what's safe to share, and the few settings worth changing.
It takes about ten minutes. You only have to do it once.
📍Where Your Words Go
Think of an AI chat as a conversation with a helpful stranger who takes notes. Three things happen to those notes.
💾 1. They're saved. Your chats are stored on the company's computers so you can come back to them later. They stay until you delete them, and sometimes a while longer.
🎓 2. They may be used to teach the AI. Unless you turn it off, most AI companies can use your conversations to improve their products. This is called “training.” It's the main setting this guide helps you change.
👀 3. A person may read some of them. Companies have staff who review a small sample of chats to check quality and safety. Google says it plainly in its own privacy notice: don't enter anything you wouldn't want a reviewer to see. Google keeps reviewed chats for up to three years, even if you delete them from your account.
None of this means someone is watching you. It means that what you type is no longer only yours.
The simple rule: if you wouldn't hand it to a stranger, don't type it into AI.
🚦What to Share: Green, Yellow, Red
Most of what you'd ask AI is fine to share. A short list never is.
🟢 Green: go ahead
General questions with nothing private in them. Recipes, trip ideas, how something works, rewording a letter, gift ideas, explaining a news story.
🟡 Yellow: share the situation, not the details
Personal topics, with names and numbers removed. A health question (“what are common side effects of this type of medication?”), a family disagreement, a budget in round numbers, a letter with the names taken out.
🔴 Red: never
Anything a thief could use, and other people's private information. Social Security number, Medicare number, bank and card numbers, passwords and PINs, a full medical record, a tax return, a photo of your driver's license, private details about family or friends.
Yellow is where most people get stuck, so here's the trick. Describe your situation the way you'd describe it to someone at a dinner party. “A relative in her eighties is having trouble with balance” gets you just as good an answer as her name, birth date and doctor.
💡 Already typed something on the red list? Don't panic. Delete that chat, and if it was a password, change the password.
⚙️The Settings Worth Changing
One setting matters most: the one that stops your chats from being used to train the AI. Every major tool has it, each under a different name. Changing it does not make the AI work any worse for you.
ChatGPT, step by step
On a computer, at chatgpt.com- Click your name or picture, at the bottom left, to open the account menu.
- Click Settings.
- In the list on the left, scroll down and click Data controls.
- Find Improve the model for everyone and click its switch to turn it off.
Step 3. Data controls is near the bottom of the list.
Step 4, before. The switch is blue, which means it's on.
Step 4, after. The switch is gray, which means it's off. That's what you want when you want privacy.
Open the sidebar, tap your profile icon, tap Data controls, and turn off Improve the model for everyone.
You only do this once. It applies to your account on every device. Your saved chats stay right where they are (OpenAI).
Two More Things Worth Knowing in ChatGPT
- Temporary chat. A chat that isn't saved to your history, isn't remembered, and isn't used for training. OpenAI may still keep it for up to 30 days for safety reasons. Use it when the topic is personal. To start one, open a new chat and click the dotted speech-bubble icon at the top right. Point at it and it says “Temporary chat.” The menu beside it lets you pick Unpersonalized, so the chat also ignores what ChatGPT already remembers about you.
- Thumbs up and thumbs down. If you rate an answer, that whole conversation can be used for training, even with the setting off. Don't rate a chat that has personal details in it.
Gemini and Claude
| Tool | Where to go | What to turn off |
|---|---|---|
| Gemini (Google) | gemini.google.com, then Settings & help, then Activity | Click On next to Keep Activity and choose Turn off. Or leave it on and shorten auto-delete from 18 months to 3. |
| Claude | Settings, then Privacy | Help improve Claude |
- Gemini has a trade-off. Turning off Keep Activity also stops Gemini from saving your chat history, and some connected Google apps stop working with it. If you like having your history, keep it on and set auto-delete to 3 months instead. Google still holds chats for 72 hours either way (Google).
- Claude also has Incognito chats, which are never used for training (Anthropic).
Menus move. If a setting isn't where this guide says, look for the words Privacy or Data controls in Settings. It will be close by.
📷Photos, Documents and Voice
Uploading a photo or a file shares everything on it, not just the part you're asking about. A picture of a doctor's letter includes your name, address, date of birth and patient number, even if your question is about one sentence.
Before you upload:
- Crop the photo so only the part you're asking about shows. Every phone's photo app has a crop button.
- Cover what's private. Use your phone's markup pen to black out names and numbers, or lay a sticky note over them before you take the picture.
- Or just type the part you need. Often the easiest answer is to type the one paragraph you're asking about and leave the rest out.
The same goes for talking. When you speak to AI, your words are turned into text and saved like any other chat. Treat the microphone like the keyboard: the red list still applies.
⚖️Keeping It in Perspective
None of this is a reason to stay away from AI. You've been making this kind of trade for years. Your email provider can see your mail. Your grocery store's loyalty card knows what you buy. Your phone knows where you've been.
AI is the same kind of trade, with one difference: people tend to tell it more. It feels like a private conversation, so we say things we'd never type into a search box. That's the habit to watch.
The Short Version
Change the one setting, keep the red list in mind, and use AI freely for everything else.
✅Your One-Page Checklist
Print this and keep it by your computer. To print: press Ctrl+P (Command+P on a Mac). Only this checklist will print.
AI Unlocked • What to Share with AI: Your Checklist
Do once
- Turn off the training setting in the AI tool I use
- Find where Temporary chat (or Incognito) is, so I know it's there
Before I type or upload
- Would I hand this to a stranger? If not, leave it out
- Names, addresses and numbers removed
- Photo cropped, or private parts covered
Never, no matter what
- Social Security or Medicare number
- Bank, card or account numbers
- Passwords or PINs
- Someone else's private information
Talk soon,
Gary
Founder, AI Unlocked